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9/14/2008 timeRealize recently.. for mths or yr? i've been very often finding sth to do so tat time pass faster.
tat doesn't sound good
some ppl complaining being too busy
some complaining being too free
anyone complaining they get the balance the equilibrium?
got to be focus in job
and dont think too much in life
then thing will be fine
came across tis song from someone's blog
very nice!
a romantic song.. somehow i feel tat the song is a pretty sexy lady =)
8/10/2008 glad i rewatch it againi watched "An Inconvenient Truth". second time.
love particularly 3 portions:
love as in i was 'bang' on mind and it printed deep to remind myself from time to time.
1. not how fast is the melting of glacier or ice but how far deep in many country will be flooded by d water. there r million of ppl living there.
2. the frog in boiling pot. i love it the most.
3. the sentence: "future generations may well have occasion to ask themselves, "what were our parents thinking?" "Why didn't they wake up when they had a chance?" We have to hear that question from them, now.
honestly only when i knowing i am going to get married and having kids in future then only i started to hav the fear tat .. how is the earth look like when we r dead and when our kids r still around without us?
one of my lady frens ever told me. "why we wan to hav baby?" before i wanna to say sth to stop her from being passive on having baby, i thought she just being too passive or worry on the money needed for competitive education or the stress of life. but i am wrong. she in fact continueing said, "the earth is having more and more problem now and it is starting being so unstable. why we wan to giv birth kids and let them suffer? let them suffer the pain we brought." wow.. i was like .. i didnt say anything tat time. i just realize luckily i didn't being too pushy or too quicky to bring in or push my point into her mind but slow down and listen to her. luckily. and i should slow down more.
now when ppl say sth, i think wat they say before i try to force in my point of view into others mind. i try. of course it is easy to fail.
ppl tend to show others wat they know and how correct r their point. it is defensive? or is it too ego? or is it show off? i dunno. may be not any of it. it is jsut habit. we always dunno we hav no-so-good habit. lots of good ppl dunno.
ok.. crap a lot. anyway. it is good to rewatch the show and remind myself again. =)
make wat u say meaningA: planning holiday? u should go alaska coz it may melt one day.
B: really?? omg i should really plan about it
C: hmm... wat coz it melts? can we do something to change it?
to act it is not easy
to hav the thought of having tat action is difficult too
since u already hav tat thought, which is the most difficult part
then just do it, which is the earsier part
list tis on ur to do list:
how to reduct carbon dioxide
start from where u live and where u work
P.S. do u hav a recycle bag in ur bag? u don't?? how come?? tis is the most trendy thing now~
put one in. beside saying "thank you" after u take the thing from cashier, say one more "no need carrier plz"
show everyone u r using recycle bag. showing them is the much better than telling them. =) good day
lab: Defrosting your fridge/freezer regularly to improve their efficiency
home: Unplugging chargers for portable games consoles, mobile phones and any other electrical equipment after they have charged
home: Minimise the time the fridge door is open and try to defrost freezers regularly. Keep the grille at the back clean at all times to keep it running efficiently.
3/31/2008 gei poh on ppl's conversationA :\ : "Sorry, I am a very direct person."
B :( : "... ..."
thought: sorry wat??? rather, i am sorry to you. eat until so big liao still can't be considerate to fren.
A, talking on hp :"yalor! those chinA ppl hoh! very disguisting one laaa! talk so loud in the mrt!.. HAHAHAH~~ blah blah blah"
thought: hello, -__- i heard u clearly.. i think other mrt passangers can you daxn clear too lo. u r slapping urself.
A : "wat to eat ah? McD?"
B : "huh? eat fast food again? dunwan la, not healthy"
.. ..
B : "i think of eating KFC..."
A : "i thought u said fast food not healthy?!"
B : "we don't order fried or side dish la~ only chicken??"
thought: hahhahaha. ok la, tis "B" is me, bad gf! no.. wife.. but at the end we didn't eat neither McD or KFC. hehe.
2/19/2008 unhappykevin n i went for a fortune teller last weekend
we were excited and nervous while waiting
after the visit, we r relief and with a target
the fortune teller didn't tell us much about our future
we barely asked about it too
from the beginning she just told us wat's wrong with our life
our character which leads how is our life
something we already know
but never agree or correct
i am a bit shocked but happy tat kevin being confident and determined tat he will change
hope it lasts
being persistent is always not easy
for me.. er..
i did promise myself n kevin before
there was some good change
yet.. may b i should stop promising but acting quitely
and we will see
1/25/2008 don't say tat plz, frenWhen bad thINgs happened to me
already happened..
don't tell me
"if you let me know early, i can help u."
i will be upset on nOt telling you earlier
if you tell me further more
on how wil u help me if i tell u earlier..
i will be upset on telling you wat had happened to me
coz you only wan to tell me
how good u can be
i wish someone to giv me comfort and support when i fall
not someone to let me know how deep shit i am or
how much i should regret
tat only make me more suffer
and u b more proud on urself
1/13/2008 everyone like to b instructordoes anyone else like to imagine thing? of course
does anyone out there like to imagine "CONVERSATION"? which means?...
straightly speaking .. it means put words into other's mouth. ic
well, i do a lot. oh!... tat sounds not-so-good
thx for being frenly in not saying 'bad'. welcome, i am ur truely imagination fren.
ya, one and only one~ of course
venue: kitchen
scene title: everyone like to be instructor
content/"CONVERSATION": **classified due to personal reason**
lesson learn: you can either "tell a man how to do as u wan" or "let the man decides how to do it". you can defintely not having both at the same time.
tat phase is for lady. ic
but too bad, lady doesn't like to follow tat way. ya.. too bad
u know wat? i thought of some "CONVERSATION" again. not btw u n me?
nope.
she said:"shanice doesn't talk much but just do thing quitely."
praising me u see. tat is good
do u know wat i wan to reply? wat?
coz there r enough of talking and screaming.. hahhah tat is nice. did u say tat?
nope. of course. i am a silent thinker. ya.. a thinker with a partner
ya.. of course. it's always great to hav u around. thx. my pleasure. :)
i think tat is enough for tis conversation. wanna watch a movie. nice! let's watch together.
of course. of course.
P.S. to b more specified.. is timid silent thinker instead
12/25/2007 no titleyesterday.. 23 dec drunk coffee
which i shouldn't coz heart wil pumping uncomfortablely fast
yet it didn't
but it think too much
i stayed awake
the mind like flipping thro' a album
all about "him"s
"nah, giv u tis pen, keep properly, i been save for quite a while in order to buy u tis"
"thx"... somehow the pen dropped and spoilt
so as our relationship... somehow
i chased behind u to upstair
pass u tat stupid key chain
it is either silly or refuse to accept
u r with her
"hi, library again? tmr u wil hav test?"
"ya, math test"
"ya, i know"
u were shocked.
thx for 'accompany' me for the 1st yr when i am in tis island
i will keep 'our communication' nicely
all the best to ur marriage in dec
i were concentrating on my pc screen
excel file again
i realized u were looking at me
it is only a mth
how can i miss u
...................
i stop thinking
DD is sleeping beside me
warm
yes, it is only an 'album'
DD doesn't in tat album
he is with me
now and future
and i very glad and blissful
....................
we catched movie "I'm legend"
a very good movie
about the msg it brings out
i like the "music and love.. cure ppl..." part
can't criticise about science
it's contribution is definitely more than harmness
yet, as the movie says.. or wat i catch...
harmness is very powerful even it is rare
we always need reminder
since when i forgot again
to be patient
live simply
love generously
care deeply
speak kindly
"Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better One"
i like tis xmas eve
i walked home with DD, he always willing to wait for me
makan dinner with him
help MIL & sis to wrap 3 gifts
catch a movie with him
chat and joke while walking to the cinema, waiting for the movie and walking home
surprisingly i prefer tonight
then others.. last yr, we in orchard
a lot of ppl, a lot of joy
yet tonight seem more special
may b it is feeling of home? harmony or peace?
anyway, it doesn't matter
wat matter is i am glad he is with me
merry christmas. peace and love.
11/27/2007 glasswarehave u ever have tat kind of feeling?
holding a fragile glassware..
handle it with care
it is either very expensive or rare
and it is not belong to u
yet u hav to handle it
live with it
handle it with very extra care
so difficult
so tiring
sometime so awkward
how to turn tis glass-crystal relationship
into a much more comfortable one?
how to say no when u think no?
since when i so timid to face my choice my decision?
feel like say dirty words.. and bo chap.
or hav alcoholic drink?
err.. .. bad choice
after an hour..............
had a nice chat with fren..
tmr with hav dinner with other buddies
guess life is pretty sky is still bright~ haha.. ^^ 11/26/2007 precipitatespent a relax-lazy mth after wedding
spent ~24hrs happily with parent n younger brother
spent few hrs finished reading a online novel
emm.. i had tat kind of feeling again..
not very complicated, yet dunno how to put it in words
nope.. not once a month.. ..
may b i can write down, everything in mind
will it helps? at least there r lesser questions
i do remember we hav unhappy moment
with my family
but i don't remember tat unhappy feeling
i am very glad about it
thus i think it's the good deed(*) of being apart with family n worked in s'pore.. beside i gain DD
"gain".. ha.. i didn't find hIm.. but dunno y he found me.. and then we found each other together :)
sometimes i will look at DD and think 'y?'
y we r together
there is really no reason
but it really doesn't matter
yet it still bother
may b i should stop finding myself answers
.. first i should learn to stop thinking questions
BUT i really mean it when said 'it really doesn't matter"
err.. start confusing? nvm.. i just wan to precipitate my thought
not to be questioned or discussed
i think most ppl hav dunno-how-and-not-usual feeling.. once awhile
but we all hav to learn to handle right?
a look at sky
a rubbish-silly-funny chat with frens
a favourite song
it wil bring u back to normal life
it is a real life, yet sometimes doesn't feel so real
and there r lots of wonder
(MATRIX~~~.. ok.. stop thinking funny.. keke)
i mean.. my mind usually got nothing.. beside work
but sometimes there r lots of things.. too much
traffic jam..
it is meaningless yet disturbing
sometimes i keep asking myself why i wan to keep the angry and dislike
once there is fren told me, i should allow myself to angry and hate someone
it is normal
ya.. it is normal
but uncomfortable feeling
i hate a guy b4.. no.. not lover type..
just a man.. but then.. i found tat..
he is now lonely and with un-cured disease...
it is like drama.. ..
i don't hate him anymore.. but the feeling now is like a ..
wearing contact lens.. and there is something inside..
(don't laugh one my words.. -__- .. MLM)
and we can't change our memory like daily/mthly contact lens
and i always hav some complaint..
sigh.. i wish i am forgiveful and .. broad minded?
or i should talk less
internet is good.. a good platform where u can spend ur time
doing something or nothing
just let time pass
and bring away some undesired thought
Tv also very good..
finished crap-ing.. or crab-ing
(*)
is "deed" a correct word?.. don't answer me
有一天的一個晴天 陽光映在這張舊沙發
躺下來閉上眼 渾然不知寂寞正在蔓延 昨天的激情 今天的空寂 還有一張慘白的臉 慢慢改變 一杯水和一支香煙 混合安靜孤獨的氣味 是真情是謊言 星期天的早晨別太絕對 瘋狂的世界陌生的鞋 鎖在門之外 有時候 想把自己關起來 還是 學著把心門打開 9/8/2007 normalnormal life
no complaint
hv complaint but can't coz shouldn't
wow.. anyone know wat do i mean?
super lousy english
Plan to write all the wedding invitation cards tis sunday
DD works OT
so.. i 'work' at home
i am ok with it .. just tat.. no one buy me food.
ya. i am brat but outside so hot and can't decide wat to eat mah
ok.. stop talking like tat..
few frens asked me the same question
"do u feel nervous as big day is around the corner?"
err.. not yet..
just feel normal
dunno y .. feeling very normal
to a lot of things in life
good also
8/8/2007 $Lunch time, 1 of d colleagues said she wanna to be rich
earn S$10k/mth
tat is a lot.
then we started to talk about how to get rich
how difficult it is to gain lots of $
i said, in fact all of us r very good now
when we started to complaint not enough $ is only bcoz we expect too high or too much
and at the same time we didn't put in much afford
hence we remain not much-money-as-we-wish and complaint
ppl r lazy and passive... i am lazy
i said so bcoz i believe very rare ppl get rich bcoz of strike toto/4D/gamble/etc
but.. rich ppl do put in afford to earn
of course luck and intelligent r part of the elements
watever, the main point is they do really start to do something toward wat they wan
and persistant to put in afford
of course, i didn't nag all tis out during lunch time
i am not tat old to give lecture/experience in lunch time yet
i prefer to said something funny
then another colleague said i didn't complaint of not enough $ is only bcoz
i am single now
she said, when i have family and children i will realize money is not enough
and i silent, didn't say something funny to 'fight' back
coz i do admit and do 'suspect' wat she said is true
in fact i did complaint not enough $, especially in fact DD
but i know it's only bcoz i expect too much
and to get myself 'more comfortable' when i not enough $
i can just lower my expectation
BUT, when i have a family, i believe i wish to give my family or children the best or at least the better
then.. money will be not enough.. irritating-not-enough
sigh~
while i am learning to be more content on my current life
there is always something to remind me tat.. life sometimes is tough
ANYWAY~ my life is very good now... shouldn't b 'sigh-ing' on wat may-or-may-not-happen-in-future
just continue to remind myself tat
- be more appreciate to family/frens/ppl/food & especially the nature
- i am still in the top range of blissing ppl in the world
compare to those can't live/eat/study well
8/6/2007 tat kind of smileTat day saw a very handsome ah moh
he with his gf who has a very good skin but with airport... like me.. -___-
i told DD he is very handsome, d ah moh
he gave me tis kind of expression =__=
ha
i said:" but the ah moh is really very handsome"
and i was in tat kind of smile until we went out the train
they still inside
today saw the i_weekly_magazine
hee~ got him
read about him and his movie
hee~ i am in tat kind of smile
it reminds me tat it was such a long time i didn't have tat kind of smile
last memory is like in college? or sec school?
smile like very happy yet can't let him know
and a bit shy
sigh.. am i too old to smile like tat?
siao~ a bit paisei to write about tis
i am not afraid of the retirement age like some guys do
may b i am not YET afraid
but i already start feeling uncomfortable about going to b 30
wat is tis??? still got 3 yrs+ ley!?
anyway, the 20+ ages like very very fast loh
wat have i done???
sigh... forget it. life is still go on and i am lazy.
beside, who cares i am 20+ or 30?
7/29/2007 RojakSome rojak things to record down:
work busy recently.. been a mth liao.. will last a yr? or .. continously =.= siao liao~
(1) 2007.07.17 cockcoach
- siao ah!!! tat day i catch 2 cockcoach! my first time! very horrible first time experience! one alive somemore! me so super! but.. still very "yuck!!!" experience! no choice .. got audit and couldn't get help .. so died died must catch.. sigh!
(2) 2007.07.29 money
went to amk hub today, saw lots of nice things.. shoe & ring from "shoe * " , sunglasses from monsoon, bags for frens bla bla bla...
but wat to do? "too many things to buy, too little money" ... for work: "too many things to do, bang gang still siam" kekekeke
(3) fish & co.
went makan in fish & co with DD .. wat we eat? ICE-CREAM!!!! ^O^ wahahahahah~ see photo below
heheheheheh~ we eat fish and chip and platter lah. then dessert is ice cream .. think of eat chicken chop or beef one.. too bad they didn't sell there.. lol
(4) choose tea dress..
an ordinary one.. sigh~ hopefully in orange dim light.. it looks nice..
(5) lots of ants...
tat day sms best fren asking wat/how she calls her bf.. she replied:" salty.. coz he calls her sweety" .. diaoz... she always speak cool thing.. lol
wat i call my DD? beside Dear Dear.. i use to call him "pig gravy".. in chinese.. “猪浆”... which is ”猪这样”... lol
oh.. in case u r curious why i put the title as 'lots of ants'? bcoz.. too sweet~ ^O^
(6) morning SOP
wake up, put on clothes, niao niao, wash face, brush teeth, wear contact lens, put on toner-eyecream-serum-moisturiser, change work clothes, on TV watch national-geographic (~HAPI~ ^^), makan breakfast (DD prepares, MUCK!), on hp radio, off TV, open door, wear shoes, close door, walk down stair case, walk toward mrt, collect free newspaper (~HAPI~ ^^), take mrt, take co. bus, clock in, fill up water bottle, on pc, put on lab coat, start lab work.. Tis morning SOP repeat 6 days a week..
sound suck right? hahahah.. luckily got TV, hp, free newspaper & DD.
(7) someone u know and u don't
i am talking about someONE. there is one ex-colleague, i always meet her in almost every morning in mrt station.. waiting train, and often takes d same train same cubicle.. yet.. we both pretend we don't know each other.. how come ah?
tis is really bad..and weird~
however, don't intend to change it yet.. don't know y, just don't feel to..
dunno y along the way to work or along the way back home .. in mrt.. always don't feel to chit chat with colleague or frens...
prefer to play hp game or sleep or being gei poh look along c whether got short 'movie clip' .. eg some ppl make over in mrt.. put on powders and powders turns from yellow-face-aunt to pretty OL.
just.. don't feel to talk much, unless i am in good mood or in holiday mood.. dunno y ley? anyway, it doesn't matter. watever~
(8) DD saw me wrote "my super DD" on previous blog.. the day later, he bought me an eeyore hp hanger.. said coz i praise him in my blog.. i told him.. i will write "MIGHTY DD" in my coming blog, and i said.. i short of cool sunglass, cool watch, nice bags, nice necklace, and few thousand dollars (mthly), sex life bla bla bla..
(He was standing beside me.. now lying on the floor.. coz he fainted liao) wahahahhaha~~~ ^O^
ok.. gtg.. read blog cya
7/22/2007 toilet thoughtshould b 'thought in the toilet'
sorry, no dirty sexy thought
anyway, even there is .. it should b something from hot sexy gal
but i am not one .. so no sexy thought in toilet
ok.. stop being ali....
"ali" means talk too much or lengthy in s'pore teen slang
...
start:
(1) had a great chat with frens
oversea call 1 hr +
but it is very worth
feel glad i didn't buy her the necklace tat day (coz i had second thought)
now.. spend the $ to chat with her is definitely more worth
^^
(2) fren said envy my smooth steady relationship
coz we pak tou few years
live happily together cohabit
then both involved in wedding preparation
'both' take part and have discussion is very important
hmm... i told my fren in fact i do have my problem and complaint
but then .. in fact.. think about it seriously
i really need to cherish wat i have now
i got comfortable bedroom, clean toilet, nice sofa with big screen tv, at least twice a week home cook food
and my super DD~~ hee~
(3) time..
- some ppl wanna to get more $ & thus sacrify time with lover
- some ppl wanna to get better career & thus sacrify time after work.. very un-willing-ly
- tat day boss told me "when u reach certain age u'll feel money is not tat important but should cherish more on oppotunity" bla bla bla... of course.. tat means tis year won't have much increment..
but in some way.. i still agree with my boss.
yeah.. money is not tat important... for me ..
so as career ... for me life/family/love is first follow by money and career
career and money is together..
enough will do... so long can support my family/life
i don't wan to sacrify a lot time in order to earn lots of $ which so tat i can have good life with my children...
coz.. good life with family/love one/children means spend more time with them
money can't buy back moment, childhood.. bla bla bla..
anyway, of course i still hope for increment .. wahahahah~
more $ more shopping mah~
hee
7/18/2007 sunshine after rainshould write tis down yesterday night:
Sunshine after Rain
with Rainbow~
Thx DD!!! ^^ 7/16/2007 swingI should be sleeping now
but couldn't fall in sleep while too many things in mind
too many 'why' 'wat' and 'sigh'
- can i still claim the insurance $ after being 气死 (angry til die) by the insurance agent?
- is my insurance agent very sucessful in his job now and thus he is too super busy to entertain me?
- or is my insurance agent very lousy in his job?
- is my problem only 'so call problem' to myself whereas in his eye it is not a problem or not even a thing?
- watever it is .. it is drag about 2 yrs.. and it is super irritating
- it really can't blame anyone who so dislike 'insurance', 'insurance agent', 'investment' bla bla bla.. when there r so many bad experience out there. i am a common person.. i believe my problem is a common problem.
- can a person become depression when he think too much on 'whether i am in depression' and 'wat is depression'?
- wat is ‘心肌病‘？
- does hormone really give tat big impact?
- how to control emotion to prevent or reduce mood swing?
- is there any more practical idea or explaination then just theory or "dignose (10mins)-appointment(months)-wait(1hr++)-5mins theory-(mths later)-dignose (10mins)-appointment(mths)-wait (1hr+++)-5mins theory"... ...? and the situation doesn't turns better...
- how to talk less to those don't wan to talk much
- how to talk more to those who care about u
- it starts from very simple
- spark begins
- innotiative
- wrong timing
- doubt
- annoying
- impatient
- guilty
- it doesn't mean.. u can do it when ppl said so
- it doesn't mean.. u can do it when u have confident
- it means nothing when no one said so and u have no confident
- it only mean too much when it is only in mind
no.. thinking too much not becoz it is once-a-mth
no.. i am not looking for someone to deny me
no.. i am not looking for any arguement. i never b good in it and never like it
no.. i am not looking for the cause of all tis
no.. i am not looking for true or wrong
i am only looking for a fren
someone who i can talk to and someone is in tis island (yet these 2 never happen together)
for the first time i wish there is no comment in my blog
6/8/2007 love turns ugly"The more u love a person.. the uglier u turn to"
sometimes it is really true.
Too much unreasonable suspecious
yet feel so impossible to stop it..
Too much expectation
and lots of sour disappointment..
...
think these 2 r killing enough
sigh~ 6/7/2007 Walau human kill environment againi will code tis year as my wedding year AND me&env year
last yr sept i join current co.
get to know by CP, our lovely EHS officer who now already resigned & join NEA (good for her)
must very TQ her coz she 'lead' me have env frenly act
errr.. in fact i didn't do much.. just try to recycle... yet i use a lot tissue paper
trying to reduce..
oh~ being lengthy again..
in fact my point is...
beside this co.-CP-recycle "thing", i notice.. environ-frenly (or save-d-planet) "thing" keep on happened around me
- NEA start the NTUC 1st wed reduce usage of plastic bag
- most of my colleges frens suggest not to post them my wedding invitation card but scan & email them can liao.
- tis week i-weekly-magazine talk more about save-d-planet awareness/conscious.
........ it is very tiringly when u don't know how to put wat-u-r-thinking into words.. ..
just like i don't know how to tell u in a proper sentence.. about wat am i thinking now..
there r words i only know in mandarine and can't convert to english
and there r words i can't pronounce properly even it is chinese words..
sigh.. so sad.. anyway, watever.....
i will try to do more beside recycle paper/metal can/plastic bottle.
(1) set sleep mode to home pc while away for long time.. no screen saver~
(2) reduce air con usage.. which i seldom use too~.. but did increase recently .. -_-||
(3) reduce tissue paper.. oh ya.. buy the smaller tissues type of tissue box.. .. wat am i talking?? #@^@%&%$ tongue stuck with brain.
(4) bring bigger hand bag so tat can put small small thing i buy during shopping..
(5) .. one more thing.. which is quite simple yet so difficult.. be brave to take out the recycle bag (tat already in my handbag for ages) while buy thing in NTUC.. and be brave to tell the NTUC "no need plastic bag thx"
sometimes.. dunno y... so 'shy' to do something simple .. only b'coz it is different from d majority ppl
sigh~ really hope some business ppl can think of some cute-small-easy-manage-cheap home 3in1 recycle bin...
then only i can put at my current home and use it.. ..
instead of .. always.. dig the paper thing out from the dry-rubbish-bin ..
feel dirty.. although knowing the 'rubbish' in tat bin is clean one..
anyway.. even tis kind of bin really exist..
don't think DD's parent like tat coz they like cleaniness super-very-much.
watever.. |
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